


Thank You For the Music

by darlingmichela



Category: Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Doctor Who RPF
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-09-20 23:17:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17031813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlingmichela/pseuds/darlingmichela
Summary: A series (loosely) based on the songs of ABBA.





	1. Does Your Mother Know?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thanks for reading! :) I have lots planned for this series - I just finished watching both Mamma Mia movies back to back so I am in complete ABBA mode. I'm hoping I'll stay motivated enough on this to keep it going for quite a while. Let me know in the comments if there's a song I haven't done yet that you'd like to see included!

_There's that look in your eyes_  
_I can read in your face_  
_that your feelings are driving you wild_  
_Ah, but boy, you're only a child_

~~~~~~~~~~

“Dance with me, Kingston,” Matt grinned, more than a little tipsy, as were they all. The drinks had been covered all night by a very generous group of fans who they’d taken a few photos with, and even danced with for a while.

“Matt,” Alex whined playfully, her head swimming with what she knew had been one too many glasses of whiskey. “I’m far too intoxicated to be doing _anything_ involving coordination…”

“Just follow my lead. Unless you’re...chicken,” he challenged, arching an eyebrow. Oh, dammit, that eyebrow - it got her every time, she couldn’t say no to it. Then again, she rarely could say no to him in general. She sighed in resignation, deciding to leave her dignity at the table with their half-consumed drinks because this, surely, wasn’t going to be pretty.

He tugged her to the center of the dance floor, ideal for them to avoid the inevitable paparazzi in the windows. Pulling her close, he let her rest against his shoulder, supporting her weight with ease. A smug grin formed over his lips as she moved her head onto his shoulder and let her muscles relax against him. “See? Easy as can be.”

“Mm,” she hummed in agreement, enjoying herself a little more than she anticipated. “This is quite lovely, I’ll admit. Been a long time since someone’s danced with me like this.”

“You’re kidding,” he scoffed exasperatedly. “Kingston, if I had you, you’d never go a day without dancing.”

“If you had me?” she laughed quietly in amusement and a touch of something else, something Matt couldn’t quite place. Trepidation, perhaps?

“I mean, um, well...you know, if we were...if you and I...went out,” he shrugged, trying to feign as casual of a tone as he could muster. _Don’t scare her, you bloody idiot..._

“Went out? I don’t know if you’d noticed, but...we are out, Matt,” she laughed, the sound echoing in his ears like a bell.

“You know that’s not what I meant,” he whispered, leaning his head against the side of her own.

“Like, what, a date?” she scoffed incredulously.

“You say that like it’s some ridiculous, unfathomable idea; we do play husband and wife, after all…”

“Matt, that’s television...this is real life,” she protested quietly. “You and I...it could never work.”

“That’s bullshit, Alex,” he replied lowly, just the hint of a growl in his words. She pulled her head back to look at him, realizing how serious he was.

“Matt, you can’t be serious. I’m literally as old as your mother. Being with me would destroy your career...the press would have a field day…”

“Do you really think I give a shit about any of that?”

“I do. I won’t be responsible for ruining you.”

“The only thing that’s ruining me, Kingston, is every second I spend apart from you.”

“We’re both drunk, we shouldn’t be talking about this now…”

“On the contrary, I think it's the perfect time to talk about this...no stupid inhibitions to hold us back from saying what we mean.”

“Or saying something that could ruin everything.”

“Lex," he sighed quietly, just barely audible over the music. "Regardless of what happens, nothing between us will ever be ruined.”

“You say that now, Matt…”

“And I’ll never stop saying it.”

Alex sighed quietly, stepping away from him a little. She wanted to...really, she did. She’d always wanted to. But Matt had such a future ahead of him, and she couldn’t be the reason it all went wrong. She wouldn’t. “I’m sorry, Matt...it just...it isn't in the cards for us…”

His expression sobered a little as he felt his arms lose contact. “Okay, Kingston,” he sighed defeated, his palms up in surrender. _Damnit, Matt,_ he scolded himself silently. _Why do you always push it too far?_   “Okay. No more talk about that. I promise. Just...dance with me?” he extended his hand back out towards her, his eyes nervous and pleading. “Please?”

Alex drew in a breath, pursed her lips, and gave a heavy sigh and slight nod, her curls bouncing lightly around her face before she moved back towards him. “Okay. One dance couldn’t hurt.”


	2. Honey, Honey

_Honey honey, how he thrills me, a-ha, honey honey_  
_Honey honey, nearly kill me, a-ha, honey honey_  
_I've heard about him before_  
_I wanted to know some more_  
_And now I know what they mean, he's a love machine_  
_Oh, he makes me dizzy_

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Alex, what the hell happened?” Karen questioned, settling in next to her on her living room sofa and handing Alex a cup of tea. “Everything was fine when you and Matt got up to dance, then suddenly you wanted to come home. What gives?”

She exhaled through her nose, opening her mouth to speak after a moment of shaking her head gently. “He wants me to go out with him, Karen.”

“Like... _out-_ out?”

“Yeah. Like, he-wants-to-be- _with_ -me out.”

“Holy _shit_ , Alex!” the young Scot squealed, jumping up onto her knees on the couch, her tea sloshing out of its mug a little as she put it down on the table. “What did you tell him?!”

“I told him it can’t happen, obviously…” she responded quietly, looking down at her hands in her lap as she fiddled with a ring on her index finger.

“Is it the age difference?” Karen asked carefully after a moment. Even inebriated, she was sharp as a tack. 

“The press would decimate him. Both of us. It wouldn’t go well. I’ve seen this kind of thing happen in this industry time and time again, and it never ends well for either party or their careers. I won’t do that to him.”

“If I know Matt as well as I think I do, Alex...he’d give up everything he has to be with the one he wanted.”

“I know, which is why it can’t happen. I won’t let him give up his life just for my sake.” This made Karen furrow her brow while considering Alex’s take on the situation, taking her hands gently. The two of them had grown quite fond of each other over their time on set, the mother/daughter bond extending far beyond the set.

“Alex, if it were anyone else, I think I’d agree with you. I know what it’s like, this business, this world - it's not easy to deal with. But...I know Matt as well as I know you, and I really, really believe in my heart that this could be an amazing thing for both of you. I’d hate to see you regret never even trying.”

“I don’t know, Kaz...he’s half my age, for Christ’s sake.”

“Not _quite_ half,” she corrected, as Matt had many times before, holding up a thin, manicured finger.

“Close enough,” Alex muttered, crossing her arms over her torso.

“Okay. I want to ask you a few questions, and you have to answer honestly,” Karen pointed at her sternly, which elicited a chuckle from Alex and a nod of agreement. “Good. One; does Matt want to be with you?”

“Yes,” Alex sighed, eyeing the ginger suspiciously.

“Two; do you want to be with Matt? Without thinking about your careers, the press, the public...do you _want_ to be with him?”

“Yes,” she admitted quietly, after a beat.

“Okay, now we’re getting somewhere! Now, last question. How do you feel about him?”

Alex kept her gaze just ahead of her as she took a slow, deep breath, thinking of what words she could even use to describe the way she felt. “He’s...well, he's my best friend,” she shrugged gently, the corners of her delicate mouth curling into just the hint of a smile. “He’s kind, kinder than most...he makes me laugh, even on the worst days. He’s brilliant, brave, thoughtful- though he’d never admit any of that, his pride would never let him. And he’s so, _so_ talented...but you know that just as well as I do. There’s just something about him that’s…” she whispered, shaking her head in frustration. “I can’t even come up with a word for it. He’s so different from anyone I’ve ever met.”

Karen nodded quietly, pursing her lips to keep herself from bursting. Truthfully, she’d long been rooting for Matt and Alex to get together - she’d seen their chemistry the first day they’d met, shooting Who for the first time together, on the shore of a beach in Wales on an unbearably rainy day.

 

_“Here, please, take my jacket, Alex-” he fumbled, getting himself a bit tangled in his suspenders trying to get his arms out._

_“Matt, I promise, I’m okay,” she laughed warmly. “I’ve got my own coat.”_

_“Still, you’re shivering,” he fussed, trying to get the jacket over the one already over her shoulders._

_“So are you,” she reasoned. “All of us are, it’s bloody freezing out here. I’ll be glad when we get to shoot the indoor scenes…”_

_“Oh, but then you’ll have to change out of this lovely gown,” he grinned, his eyes glancing over her form._

_“It is quite nice,” she chuckled, her cheeks turning as rosy as her nose was from the cold. “Our costume designer is an absolute genius.”_

_“Kingston, you could be wearing a potato sack and be the most exquisite thing in any room you walked into.”_

_“Speaking of rooms,” Karen piped up from her chair. “Maybe you two should get one?” Both of their cheeks went red, her quip met with nervous laughter from both parties._

 

“I say go for it, Alex. I’m not saying it will be perfect or even easy...I know there are a lot of obstacles you’re going to have to hurdle. But I know you, and I know Matt, and both of you are more than capable of overcoming anything that comes your way, but together? You’d be absolutely unstoppable.”

“I don’t know if it’s as simple as all that.”

“It can be if you let it,” she shrugged a pale shoulder.

“What if everyone at BBC found out? I don’t even want to know what Steven would say…”

“Alex, are you kidding? Do you not seriously know about the pool?”

“The...pool?”

“The bet,” she raised her eyebrows as she realized that Alex really didn’t have any clue. She’d always assumed that both Matt and she had known. “Oh my God, no one told you…”

“Karen, told me _what_?” Alex whispered, her eyes widening a little.

“The entire studio’s been running a bet since the middle of series five...two, actually. The first was over whether you two would get together or not, and those of us on the ‘yes’ side started a second over who would be the one to make the first move.”

Alex blinked at her for a moment, completely dumbfounded for once, before opening her mouth to speak. “And just how many are on the ‘yes’ side of this?”

“Um...well,” she laughed sheepishly. “Everyone. That’s why we had to start a second bet. Nobody wanted to take the ‘no’ side.”

Alex nearly dropped the mug in her hands, her jaw hung just slightly ajar as her cheeks turned a bright red. She could barely process that not only did her coworkers know about whatever this...thing was, seemingly long before she even did, but also fully supported and endorsed their getting together. "I'm...I'm going to get a cab home," she whispered, standing to gather her things. "I just...need to think all of this over for a while, on my own."

"Okay, of course," she nodded, tucking a soft, orange curl behind her ear. "I'll see you soon, then, yeah? And, Alex, you know you can call me, day or night. I'm always available to listen."

"I know," Alex paused to smile gently at her just before stepping out of the apartment. "Thanks, Mum."

"Anytime, daughter dear," Karen giggled, and locked the door when she'd left. She lifted a framed photo of the four of them, from their first table read together, and sighed heavily. "Oh, Matt...you've really done it now, haven't you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty! I love this song and the way it really conveys the butterflies and uncertainty of something new and unknown, which I think is a big part of what Alex is experiencing at this point in the story, however hard she may be trying to suppress it.
> 
> In the next chapter, we'll find out how Matt is handling the rejection...


	3. Waterloo

“It’s not like I’m a teenage _boy_ , there’s absolutely _nothing_ wrong about us being together! I know it, you know it, and I’ll bet you anything _she_ knows it too,” Matt rambled, slurring his words a little as he vented, slamming down his fourth shot of tequila, washed down with the rest of his beer. He signaled the bartender for another round and sat back in his creaky wooden chair with a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry, Art. I didn’t mean to put a damper on the whole night.” 

“It’s fine, mate. I’m just glad you finally grew a pair and said something to her,” Arthur chuckled, taking a swig of his own.

“Why? It obviously didn’t work…”

“It wasn’t a _complete_ disaster,” he laughed gently, clapping a hand on Matt’s shoulder. “If nothing else, it sounds to _me_ like she’s already thought about this before.”

“I...guess you’re right,” he raised his eyebrows, running a hand through his hair. “I hadn’t thought about it like that.”

“You’ve got your foot in the door, now. All that’s left to do is win her over.”

“What if it isn’t enough? What if I can’t be what she deserves?”

“I’ve sat here for over a year now listening to you talk about this woman. Anyone who's heard the way you talk about her can see how absolutely taken with her you are. Hell, there’s a whole online fan base for you two as a couple. If anyone can give her the kind of relationship she deserves, it has to be you.”

“I want to,” he nodded quietly, leaning forward on the edge of the bar. “I want to at least _try_ to be that for her. But it's up to her now, I can’t make this decision for her.”

“Maybe not. But you can certainly prove how serious you are about this in the meantime.”

“What can I do? I’m afraid she’ll just rebuff any affection I throw at her.”

“I’m not saying it’s going to be easy,” Arthur admitted. “I know she’s a conquest. But she’s the type of woman worth trying for, I think.”

“She absolutely is...I don’t think I’ve ever felt the way I feel about Alex before. I’ve had girlfriends, ones that I’ve loved, even...and this…” he shook his head with a deep exhale. “It’s different. _She’s_ different. She makes me forget other women even exist. I’ve been all over the world, seen the most extraordinary places, met the most amazing people...but nothing makes me feel the way I do when I see her face.”

“You’re gonna make me cry, Smith,” Arthur teased, holding up his beer. “Well, cheers to that. You know Kaz and I are all for it.”

“Good to know,” he chuckled, clinking his bottle against Arthur’s. “Couldn’t do it without you, mate.”


	4. Super Trouper

_I was sick and tired of everything_  
_When I called you last night from Glasgow_  
_All I do is eat and sleep and sing_  
_Wishing every show was the last show_  
  
_So imagine I was glad to hear you’re coming_  
_Suddenly I feel all right_  
_And it’s gonna be so different_  
_When I’m on the stage tonight_

~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You don’t need to come all the way to Glasgow, Matt, it's just a play. I’m sure I’ll do one closer to home soon.”

“ _You’re doing a one-weekend-only star turn in a brilliant role. As an avid Alex Kingston fan, I wouldn’t miss that for anything._ ”

“I’ve done Lady Macbeth before, this will be old hat. You saw me do it in Manchester, you really don’t have to come for this one…”

“ _Too late_ ," he said, his smugness audible even over the phone. “ _Already bought the tickets, reserved the room...can’t get a refund, you know how it is_.”

She sighed, perhaps in resignation, frustration, or exasperation. She wasn’t sure which one...perhaps it was all three.

“Okay,” she surrendered, rubbing her forehead. “I guess I’ll be seeing you soon, then.”

“ _Sooner than you think…_ ”

“What are you talking about?”

“ _Turn around_.”

Alex’s head whipped behind her, nearly dropping her phone in the process. Matt was standing against the wall at the other side of the room, smirking over at her as he gave a slight wave. “ _Gotcha,_ ” he quipped, and she hung up the phone quickly to run over to him.

 

“What the hell are you doing here?” she laughed, hugging him tightly around his shoulders before she remembered the how they’d left things between them, and stepped back with a sheepish smile.

“It's your opening night tomorrow _and_ New Years,” he shrugged simply, still a little flustered from the fact that she’d just hugged him - honestly, he’d half expected a slap to the face. “I, uh...figured someone should be here to help you celebrate, make sure you’re not working yourself to death like I know you always do when you open a show.”

“Matt,” she sighed quietly, her gaze dropping to the floor as her smile started to fade. “We've talked about this...we can’t-”

“I know, Kingston,” he reassured her, one hand raised and the other over his heart. “I’ll be good. Best behavior, I swear. I’m just here as...a supportive friend.”

“If that’s truly the case...I suppose there’s no harm. I _am_ happy to see you,” she grinned, rolling her script into a tube awkwardly between her palms. “I just have one scene with Dan left to go over tonight...we can get dinner after. You’re welcome to stay and watch if you like?”

“How could I say no to a private sneak preview? Break a leg, then,” he grinned excitedly, moving to find a spot out of the way as Alex turned to walk to her mark. The scene was an intimate one between the lead couple, and thankfully, she was playing opposite someone who she meshed well with on stage. The chemistry wasn’t nearly the level of intensity as it was with  Matt, but it was enough for her to work with. Dan was a lovely man; she'd grown quite fond of both him and his husband. She thought initially that Matt’s presence would be a distraction for her, but instead, the opposite happened; the scene played more beautifully than it ever had before, the heat of his eyes on her driving her performance above and beyond.

He watched her in awe as they began, completely entranced by every expression, every word, every movement...even when it wasn’t her line, he found himself unable to look away. He loved seeing her in costume, as she always looked divine in anything she wore, but there was something about seeing her in rehearsal that was just such...pure _Alex,_ something so raw about the way her frizzy curls bounced around the top of her head in the ponytail she’d loosely corralled them into, the effortless beauty of her features not filtered by layers and layers of heavy stage makeup as the Bard’s timeless words fell from her lips. Oh, yes, he decided, this was certainly one of his favorite sides of Alex. By the end, even the director was on the edge of his seat.

“So? What did you think?” she grinned as she strode up to him after they’d gone over notes and wrapped up for the night.

“If you think I’m going to say that was anything besides utterly brilliant, you’d be very wrong. I mean, come on! That bit at the end, when you did the-” he made a little gesture, copying one she’d used on stage. “-thing towards the end? Absolutely breathtaking.”

“You liked that, did you?” she chuckled, tilting her head to the side as she re-tied her hair. “That was new, actually...I usually don’t like to make changes so close to opening, but what can I say? Having you there...inspired me. Motivated me, I guess.”

He laughed, an arm raising to rub the back of his neck. “Ah, Kingston...you don’t need me around to be as incredible as you are. You’ve done that all on your own for ages. One of the most incredible performers I’ve ever seen, in fact.”

Alex blushed a bright pink, suddenly at a loss for words. Normally, she’d laugh off such a comment or give some clever line, but she often found that compliments from him were too genuine to even try to refute. A few moments passed as an uncomfortable-yet-comfortable silence hung between them. “Shall we. uh...get something to eat, then? There’s a great little Thai place just down the road from here…” She figured dinner was innocent enough to not be considered a date.

“Yeah,” he smirked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders as they started down the road together. Honestly, he was surprised (but grateful) she was allowing it, and even more surprised when she settled her own arm under his jacket over the middle of his back; but then again, Alex had always been a very affectionate person towards the people she cared about. “Sounds perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thus begins the wooing! Be still by hopeless romantic heart <3 I'm not sure how long I want to wait to get these two together romantic-styles (any B99 fans here?) - let me know what you all would like to see happen in the comments!


	5. Dance (While The Music Still Goes On)

_Baby, give me one more_

_Dance while the music still goes on_

_Don't think about tomorrow_

_Dance and forget our time is gone_

 

_Tonight's a night we borrow._

_Let's make it a memory, a night of our own_

_A thing to remember when we're all alone_

_So dance, it's our way to say goodbye_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was definitely a good thing the whole venue had been booked out - the party was massive, filled to the limit with hundreds of people snapping pictures of the cast and dancing; the sound of music, chatter, and glasses clinking from the freely-flowing booze loud enough to be heard from blocks away. Spirits were high and a sense of post-first-show relief flowed through the room, everyone drinking like it was the end of the world.

“Want another?” Matt shouted over the music, pointing to Alex’s mostly empty gin and tonic on the table. She scrunched her nose and shook her head, leaning in towards him to shout in his ear.

“Need to keep my wits somewhat about me. Can’t be tanked in front of all this press,” she laughed, steadying herself by placing a hand on his upper arm, and retreating as the music changed to something much slower, which allowed for a much easier conversation.

“Would you like to dance, then?” he grinned over at her. Alex knew she shouldn’t have, knowing what happened the last time they’d danced, but she simply couldn’t deny him what he wanted. Maybe that would get her in trouble.

Biting her lip gently, she hesitated a moment before giving a nod and took him by the hand to move out to the dance floor. The press had tripled in number when people realized Matt was at the after party, the incessant flashing of their cameras merely an afterthought for him as he kept his eyes focused on Alex.

They were certainly drawing attention, but strangely, for once, Alex didn’t care. She knew people would talk, as they always do, but it wasn’t like they were doing anything wrong. Friends dance with each other all the time, so there wasn’t any reason they couldn’t now.

She kept her face hidden from his view, her chin perched delicately on his shoulder. She feared any prolonged eye contact would give away just how happy she was that he was there with her, how grateful she felt that he’d wanted to be here, and how exhilarating it was to be in his arms now. The familiarity of his grasp sent a chill through her spine as he held her close, moving the both of them in rhythm with the music.

“Haven’t lost your step,” he chuckled, his cheek leaned gently against her head. “I’m sorry about the last few weeks, Kingston. I know I just kind of...threw everything at you out of nowhere…”

“It wasn’t out of nowhere,” she sighed quietly. “We both know this has been going on for ages. Whatever ‘ _this_ ’ even is...I’m sorry for not calling after last time. I should have. I tried, but I could never figure out what to say.”

He was silent for a moment, his firm hand on the small of her back never wavering. “Have you figured it out now?”

“No,” she whispered; she hadn’t figured out even what she wanted to do, let alone how to express that choice to him. After her discussion with Karen, she’d gone over every possible scenario, every single aspect of this insane notion of them becoming something, at least a million times in her mind. She’d made list after list of every pro and con she could come up with, almost a literal representation of the head vs. the heart on every page. “But only because I have no idea where to even start…”

“It's okay...I know. Think about it for a while longer. We’ll talk properly when there aren’t so many ears around,” he chuckled softly, his breath over her ear making her breath hitch in her throat; thank goodness the music had been loud enough to mask it.

They swayed in silence for the duration of the song, as Alex realized there was one scenario she hadn’t considered - one where everything worked out in the end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a bit short, I know! Bit of a writer's block tonight.


	6. Dream World

_We're not the stars of a Hollywood movie_ _  
_ _So what's the use to pretend?_ _  
_ _I'm not so charming and you're not so groovy_   
_You've got to face it my friend_

 _You've been living in a dream world_ _  
_ _Trust me, you just can't escape from reality_   
_Boy meets girl, doesn't mean they're in a dream world_

  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I knew this would happen,” Alex muttered under her breath, scrolling endlessly through story after story on her phone, many questioning the nature of her relationship with Matt. She’d been careless; she knew the press had been there, that eyes would be on them any moment they were together.

“Alex, it doesn’t matter. Who cares what a bunch of tabloids have to say about either of our personal lives?”

“I care, Matt! I mean, look at this! There have to be at least a thousand different stories!” she held her phone out to him, her hand shaking a little. He took it gently from her and scrolled through the articles for a moment before he raised his head and moved to the couch, patting the spot next to him. She sat, collapsing on the cushion with a resigned sigh, her head in her hands. “This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen. This is why I couldn’t let myself go out with you. Maybe I should’ve...it apparently didn’t matter, anyway.”

“Lex,” he sighed, keeping himself from sitting too close. She seemed to be in fight-or-flight mode, and he really didn’t want to trigger either. “Did you really _read_ these all the way through? None of them, save for a few bloggers and trolls, have said anything bad about us; it's all just...speculation.”

“In fact, here, look,” he turned the screen towards her, pointing at a photo of the two of them dancing together, captioned with “ _Alex Kingston and Matt Smith share an intimate moment at the Macbeth opening after party; are these on-screen star-crossed lovers proof that life imitates art? If you ask this particular writer-slash-fangirl, it's been a long time coming_ .” He flipped to a second article, this time with a photo of them talking over the music, their chemistry visible in the way they looked at each other. The caption on the second read, “ _Alex Kingston and Matt Smith are all smiles as he congratulates her on a successful opening night. Rumors have been circling that the two are an item, and really, we absolutely hope it's true._ ” She was quiet for a while, hugging her knees to her chest and retreating further into the couch cushion.

“Those are just a couple of hundreds just like them. Alex, I don’t think you realize how much support we have behind us. Our friends, family, coworkers, our fans...they’re all rooting for us. They’re the ones who matter. The only person in our lives who doesn’t believe in this, in us...is you.”

“It’s not that I don’t believe in us,” she admitted quietly, closing her eyes to conceal the tears that pricked the backs of her eyes. “It's that I believe way too much.”

“I don’t understand, Lex,” he furrowed his brow.

She took a shaky breath, rubbing the side of her head as she kept her gaze ahead of her, desperate for something to focus her eyes on anything that wasn’t him. “I fall too hard...I always have. I let myself get so invested and then everything inevitably goes to shit and I get my heart broken. Every single time. And with both of us being as high profile as we are...have you considered what would happen if it ended badly?”

“Have you considered what would happen if it didn’t?” His question caught Alex off guard, turning her head quickly and blinking at him with wide eyes and slightly parted lips.

“Of course I have,” she said quietly after a moment.

“I really don’t think you have...because if you had, the way I have, you’d realize that even the possibility of something as amazing as what we could be together...it would far outweigh any risk that comes with it. I’m _terrified_ , Lex...this is just as scary for me as it is for you; but what’s scares me more is the idea of not even trying, of missing out on what could be the greatest connection of my life just because I was afraid. I want so much to take that leap of faith, with you, because I know the fall is going to be so incredibly worth it.”

A thick silence hung between them for what felt like hours, Alex stunned past the point of coherent thought. “You could have any girl you want, Matt...”

“The only one I want isn’t a girl...she’s a woman. A beautiful, brilliant, funny, stubborn, _ridiculous_ woman who I haven’t been able to stop thinking about since I met her. And if she’d just...trust me, and take that leap of faith with me...I’d _never_ let her regret it..”

She thought for a while, keeping her gaze on her hands before she stood quietly and started towards the door.

“Lex, please, don’t go,” he whispered, stilling her by the wrist.

“I just...I need to think. I have rehearsal in two hours and a show tonight, anyway. We can discuss this more after, I promise, I...I just need to figure this out on my own first.”

“Okay,” he whispered, squeezing her hand gently before releasing it. “Just...call me as soon as you’re ready. I’ll come running.”

“I will. I promise. Thanks, Matt,” she bent to kiss the top of his head gently, letting herself linger perhaps a moment longer than she intended, before quietly exiting the room. He sighed deeply, running a hand through his hair before he flopped back onto the couch, marking the start of the longest five hours of his life.


	7. Mamma Mia

_Look at me now, will I ever learn?_ _  
_ _I don't know how but I suddenly lose control_ _  
_ _There's a fire within my soul_ _  
_ _Just one look and I can hear a bell ring_   
One more look and I forget everything

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As important as her part was to the play, Lady Macbeth had quite a lot of downtime compared to other shows Alex had been in. Usually, she wasn’t a fan of having time off stage, as she felt it took her out of the mindset of her character to have to switch back and forth. Tonight, however, she was grateful for the extra time to think, perched to the side in the wings as she listened to her co-stars perform.

The witch scenes were always crowd pleasers, but Alex’s favorites were Macbeth’s soliloquies. Dan was an astounding actor - a great choice for the role. She had _almost_ forgotten about her personal dilemma when an assistant tapped her on the shoulder with a travel mug of tea with lemon and honey, a life saver when she did live productions - projecting had always put a strain on her throat. She nodded gratefully, taking a sip as her mind wandered back to Matt.

Truthfully, the idea was becoming more and more tempting...even just to see what this _was_ , or if it could even work. The worst had already happened, and it hadn’t even been as horrible as she’d assumed it would be. The whole thing was so complicated...but why did it have to be? Yes, she’d seen celebrity romances crash and burn over and over, but the two of them had broken so many barriers already. When they were cast opposite each other, very few thought they’d be able to make their age difference an afterthought, that it would be just too unrealistic for them to have any sort of romantic connection.

She’d never pictured herself with anyone younger than herself, much less someone that much younger...but Matt had always been wise beyond his years. Between his back injury and being thrust into international stardom at such a young age, he’d been forced to grow up much more quickly than most.

If she were honest with herself, completely honest, every time she looked at Matt, she knew exactly how she felt. She knew that the only thing she truly wanted was to spend every moment possible with him, to give him exactly the love she knew he deserved. However, it wasn’t just about her feelings - there were more aspects to this; as much as Matt wanted to believe they didn’t matter, she knew they had to. They always did in the end.

But, for once, her mind wasn’t worrying about the future. Instead, it was focused on the past, on the memories they’d already created together. The current one replaying itself in her mind was from her birthday, which had fallen on a filming day for Doctor Who, for the Pandorica episodes.

 

_“Did you dance?” she smirked, grateful for River’s taste in fluffy, warm coats in the cold night air. “Well...you always dance at weddings, don’t you?”_

_Matt, dressed to the nines in a full tuxedo complete with top hat, and that slight grin that made her knees weak. “You tell me,” he raised his arms and shrugged his shoulders lightly._

_"Spoilers,” she sang in her signature tone and took a step before, she found herself flailing a little to (barely) keep her balance in the heels she definitely wasn’t used to wearing. Matt laughed, the take obviously unusable, and moved forward to help steady her. “Ooh, you alright? Yeah?”_

_“Fine,” she chuckled sheepishly, giving the crew a quick apology before scuffing her feet on the concrete below. “Damn things don’t have any traction…”_

_“Don’t go falling too hard for me, now, Kingston,” he winked at her, before turning to return to his mark._

_Thank God her cheeks were already pink from the biting cold, because the blush that came to them wouldn’t have been concealable._

 

That was the first time she’d let herself admit, even if just to herself, that she had feelings for Matt. She didn’t know what they were, at the time, or that they were even anything at all - but if you asked her to pinpoint the moment she truly fell for him, that would be the moment she chose. An assistant leaned down to her ear to let her know her next entrance was coming soon, and she shook the memories from her mind as she tried to snap back into character, straightened her shoulders, lifted her chin and stepped out onto the stage.

She was confident in three things; she’d enter, hit her mark on stage right, and give her lines. What she _hadn’t_ expected was to see Matt in the front row, smiling smugly as ever, mouthing a quick “surprise”. She just barely managed to contain her shock and continued on, ever the professional. Any time she spoke towards the audience, however, she couldn’t keep her eyes from wandering down to him.

When the show ended and the cast took their final bows, Alex finally allowed herself to smile as her eyes met Matt’s, which had been firmly locked on her since she’d stepped into the lights; it was right then and there she decided what she wanted to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stick with me guys! I promise this'll be worth it! <3


	8. One Man, One Woman

_One man, one woman_  
_Two friends and two true lovers_  
_Somehow we'll help each other through the hard times_  
_One man, one woman_  
_One life to live together_  
_One chance to take that never comes back again_  
_You and me, to the end_

_~~~~~~~~~~~~_

Alex paced in her dressing room, fiddling at the sleeves of her silk robe before settling down on the chair in front of her mirror. She'd put her hair up on top of her head loosely in a couple of chopsticks, and taken off a majority of the stage makeup, looking much more like herself. Her humidifier was the only sound she heard, aside from some chatter from her neighbors' rooms, until a quick, musical knock on her door made her jump. She knew just who was on the other side, as evidenced by her quickened pulse. "Come in," she returned, after clearing her throat quietly. 

"Lex?" he stepped inside, his timid eyes finding hers immediately as he shut it behind him. "I'm sorry, I should've told you I was coming. Kaz and Art said I should surprise you and, well, I just thought it would be-"

He'd been so busy rambling, he hadn't even realized that she'd been stepping towards him, and she cut him off in an instant by pulling his face down to her own and crushing his lips against hers. He squeaked in surprise, his hands flailing a bit in a rather Doctor-like manner, before settling them on her waist and relaxing into the kiss. They parted after a long, lingering moment. "So...are we...you're...?"

"Yes," she nodded breathlessly against him, their foreheads pressed together as her eyes opened to meet his. "We are. I am. _Yes_."

"You- we- _really_? You mean it? I mean, of course, we don't have to rush anything," he shook his head softly, brushing a curl out of her face as he gazed down at her and moved them both to sit on the little couch. "We can take this as slow as you need to."

"I don't know where to even start," she admitted, settling into his side. "This isn't something I ever imagined doing again."

He was quiet for a moment, searching her eyes "I know you've had your heart broken, Alex, more times than anyone should ever have to. People can be cruel and heartless, and I so desperately wish I actually _was_ the Doctor so I could go back and prevent any of those things from ever happening to you. But, since I'm not, I can at least try to make up for them now. That's all I'm asking for, just a _chance_ to show you the kind of romance you should have. I don't know that I can ever be everything you deserve in a man - I don't know that anyone ever could - but I want to _try_. Please, just...let me start with a date. A proper, official date."

"Okay," she whispered and nodded, blinking away tears. "As soon as we get home, we can-"

"No, Kingston," he chuckled, his brown eyes shifting downward toward their joined hands. "I can't wait that long. Let me take you out tonight."

"Tonight?" she laughed, knowing it was nearly midnight. "I don't know what would even still be open..."

"We don't need anything to be; I know just where to go," he smirked smugly, standing her up. "Come on, get changed, my car should be out back by now."

 

He was infuriatingly quiet on the ride, finally allowing himself to grin as he pulled to the side of a winding road. "Here we are."

"Where...exactly is _here_?"

"Well, we do have to walk a little bit. It isn't far, though." He helped her out of the side, pulled a bag and a blanket from the trunk, and led her down some stairs to the side of the road. She followed him to the bottom, and as she turned the corner, found a beautiful, empty beach; the full moon perfectly hung above the water as the moonlight bounced off the gentle waves lapping up onto the shore, not a sound for miles aside from the frogs and creatures that called this lake home. She found him already laying the blanket out over the sand, just steps from the water's edge. He extended a hand to her when he was through, smiling like an excitable, lovesick puppy - but truthfully, she was starting to feel the same. "Coming then, Kingston?"

She grinned as she moved to accept his hand, relishing hearing the oft-used nickname, one of many Matt alternated through during their time together. She found herself suddenly thankful she'd chosen to stick flat shoes instead of heels as they strolled across the sand to sit down together.

"So, what do you think?" he asked hopefully, reaching into the bag to find a bottle of wine and two glasses before pouring them both a drink.

"You...had all this ready?"

"I'd braced myself for rejection," he admitted quietly, letting his fingers brush against hers as he handed over the wine. "But, I wanted to be prepared...just in case, by some miracle, you agreed to come."

"You're certainly not making me regret it," she smiled, the aroma of the wine filling her nose as she kept her eyes on his over the rim of her glass while taking a sip. "So, what do people do on proper, official dates, then?"

"Well, in my experience...there's flirtatious jokes, lighthearted banter, and getting to know one another."

"Sweetie, I think we've had plenty of practice on the first two," she chuckled, leaning to the side on her elbow. "And we've known each other for over a year now."

"To an extent," he nodded slowly in agreement, taking a sip of his own glass. "But, there's still so much to discover...I'll always want to know more about you."

"Well, ask away, darling," she chuckled comfortably, her nerves finally beginning to fade away with the wine. "I'm an open book."

He thought for a moment, narrowing his eyes and pursing his lips. "I...want to know about the last time you were in love."

Honestly, she wasn't sure what she'd expected him to ask her about, but it certainly hadn't been that. She blinked at him slack-jawed for a moment before snapping herself out of her surprise. "I...suppose that would've been Florian," she spoke quietly, her finger circling the rim of her glass, perhaps as a distraction. "I did love him...before everything went downhill. I mean, he stuck by me long enough to have Sal, and I suppose a part of me will always be grateful to him for giving me her. I couldn't have done it alone."

He knew that he was only a teenager when they'd been together, but part of him couldn't help but wish it had been him. It made his blood boil knowing that not one, but _two_ men had the privilege of marrying such an astounding woman and had both completely taken the opportunity, and her, for granted. But that didn't matter now, because he planned to make up for every time she'd ever been hurt and then some. "What was he like?"

"He was kind enough, charming...though, to be frank, he was just...stable. Comfortable," Alex shrugged her topside shoulder. "I knew he'd be a good, dependable father for my child who could support us, and...that's what I wanted more than anything."

"I know you struggled," he whispered gently, rubbing her arm with his thumb. "You went through so much to have her."

"Yeah, I did...years of trying, medical interventions, and to finish it off, a 36 hour labour...but it was all worth it. I wouldn't trade that little girl for anything in this world or any other."

"She's a remarkable young lady," he smirked, recalling all the times she'd accompanied her mother on set. They'd become fast friends - but really, what 10-year-old wouldn't love palling around with the Doctor during his off time?

"She really is. She'll be thrilled to hear about all this." 

"Really?" he arched a curious brow.

"She's been begging me to go out with you since she saw our first episode together," she laughed warmly, a hint of pink on her cheeks against the blue moonlight. "She liked you enough after a few days on set. Seeing us together in the way Steven wrote it, however...well, her little mind put two and two together and decided we ought to get married."

He choked slightly on the wine he'd been drinking, looking up at her with equal surprise and amusement. "Slow down, Kingston," he smirked teasingly. "That's quite a leap for a first date..."

"Her words, not mine," she giggled, holding up her free palm in defense, her smile fading slightly as the sound of their mutual laughter did, and a moment of silence passed between them. "It's not off the table...someday. I'd do it again, I mean."

"If...the right guy swept you off your feet?"

"Perhaps," she shrugged with a smirk, finishing off the last of her drink. "It certainly wouldn't hurt his case."

"Well, then," he smiled, leaning in to kiss her tenderly, pulling her close by the waist. "I'd better get sweeping."


End file.
